CRISTINA ROSE 0:15
Hey friends, welcome to this week’s episode of “Not Your Momma’s podcast”. And today, I’m excited. I have Kim Barnett, a woman who is passionate about spreading mental health awareness and joy. Kim, thank you so much for coming on the podcast today. It’s such an honor to have you on. Can you introduce yourself a little bit to our audience?
KIM BARNETT 0:32
Yeah, sure. Thank you so much for inviting me on your podcast, Christina. It’s a pleasure to be here. Yes, I’m Kim Barnett. I have an Instagram account called activist joy. Underscore, is underscore joy on there. I tried to show that joy through some of my voice posts, as well as explaining my story. And my journey with mental illness in particular, bipolar one disorder that I was diagnosed with many years ago in my early 20s. And I kind of utilized initially, my Instagram is kind of like my own journal. So I did for a long time, like journal, you know, in writing on paper, but it kind of transformed into doing it online. And then once I started getting the response from people and people kind of relating to what I was going through, it turns into like this whole thing where I use that and then I also started a page on Facebook called my boy bipolar voice that basically ties in together with my bipolar journey, but also like becoming, I guess, more than that, initially, my age on Instagram was my bipolar voice as well, though, because I felt kind of pigeon holed as far as only only showing others that have the disorder. Yeah, I felt kind of pigeon holed that I was only like, being able to like show myself to those people. But because I’ve been through so many various different things in my life, not just one thing as a as bipolar disorder. I wanted it to be more broad. So I changed it to Kim is joy. My middle name is Joy tattooed on my back is like a big part of who I am. I even laugh in my sleep like a little crazy person, but it’s just like, it’s a part of me. So I thought that was like the best way to include that and also encompass how I came from a place of despair and depression and mental illness then came out of that as still having been through all of that still a joyful person overall. Yeah. That’s how I the page is basically how I got from that despair to what I tried to, you know, including now.
CRISTINA ROSE 3:00
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KIM BARNETT 5:39
Yeah, so first of all, one, I’m, in my 40s. So I remember my mom and my 40s, my husband and I tried for 11 years to conceive. So it was like a big shock, one that I got pregnant at 40. But also, I wasn’t really prepared for it to happen, because it took so long. So one, I guess for people that are struggling with infertility, don’t give up and don’t give up hope it still can happen in your 40s I don’t recommend this, oh, my body hurts. But when dealing with like, how having any sort of mental health challenges, whether it be bipolar just like depression or anxiety, OCD, anything on the any sort of spectrum of mental health disorders, you always have to have. And I learned this the hard way. So I like a plan in place.
CRISTINA ROSE 6:31
So what does that look like? What does it plan for?
KIM BARNETT 6:34
For me, so with bipolar disorder, if you are having an episode, I guess we’ll call it. There’s things that can happen that are out of your control. So there are however, indicators that something is about to happen. So for me, letting the people around me know what those indicators are. And key for them to let me know that there’s something possibly going wrong, because sometimes I’m so I’ve been out of it, like mentally myself that I can’t see what is happening to my own body or my own mind. So letting others know when I’m when I’m level headed, what not level headed start? Yeah, yeah, I’m really important. So my husband knows. Yeah, so my husband knows, like, if I, if I stopped sleeping, if I stopped eating, if I lose weight, like rapidly, if I start having all these projects, like 10 projects at the same time, and not finishing any of them, or if I pick up smoking again, like just like, I’ve spoken years, like, like when I have episodes, like things that I would not normally do, just all of a sudden start coming back to me and I pick them up again. So just knowing those triggers, and then what to do if they get out of control. So we have a hospital that I have to go to, like one specific one in our area. Luckily, I haven’t had an episode since before I got pregnant, like a few years. So it’s, but even so it can always happen. So making sure that you have the plan is is imminent, you know, and then making sure I have coverage for my son, so my husband works. So there’s no way for him to take off a lot of time. So my mom is fired, so she would be able to help. Just having a plan is like really important. And knowing that the people around you are able to see what is happening when you can’t help yourself is really.
CRISTINA ROSE 8:42
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KIM BARNETT 9:48
A hard one because you’re because I’m a mom now right? So before I had like a really regimented schedule, and I would stick to it because of the sleep services were a big trigger. For me with my mental health so with a baby it’s next to impossible especially because I work part time my husband works full time. So I’m like the number one caretaker. So what I’ve learned is that my mom was a big help with this is to my brother to his he has young kids is to nap windy nap usually, especially in like the first like, I would say six months was like I had to Yeah, because I was so exhausted. So is to find, find ways to sleep as much as possible, especially if you’re dealing with a mood disorder that requires sleep in order to stay sane. So yeah, for me specifically, I would sleep with his long periods at night during that time then during the day, his first nap and his second nap, I wouldn’t have to with him not in my room and yeah. And then go pick them up when it’s when it’s time. But that specifically medication if you are prescribed medication by psychiatrists, that is in finding the right medication. So as I was diagnosed, like over 20 years ago, I’ve been on probably 50 different medications in the course of that time, and not all of them.
CRISTINA ROSE 11:16
So yeah, you don’t know it. Yeah, it’s all. It’s all like experimenting, find the right thing.
KIM BARNETT 11:25
Yeah, so and then also weighing the pros and cons to the medication. So sometimes they have like side effects that are not ideal, like one time I gained like 80 pounds and like a year on one of them. But at the same time, I needed it in order to bring me back to level headed or not manic at the time. So I put those 80 pounds on to become sane. Again. It was like not a question really. Unfortunately, you know, it’s not what I wanted, but it was necessary in order for me to get back to me. So it’s, it’s been a challenge, I’ll say. So I’ve talked to a lot of new moms with bipolar disorder recently. Because I haven’t had any met any, what’s the call issues with my mood since I was pregnant? And since I’ve had the baby. So there’s only been one other person that I’ve talked to that have bipolar disorder that feels similarly like kind of like the because you know, you’re when you’re pregnant, you go, your body has like so many hormones, or Yeah, right. Yeah. It almost feels and I can only say that my husband said my mother in law and my mom and there are a lot of people that it seems like almost like my body chemistry was paying by the pregnancy and by having myself. Yeah, I literally have a cyclical disorder. So I would have episodes yearly. I haven’t had an episode, like this before I got pregnant till now. It’s almost like, that’s pretty interesting.. So like, I feel like I feel like they should do like some sort of study on this or something. I feel like it would probably be like, it’s kind of like, I don’t know, it would be groundbreaking if it was an actual thing. But yeah,Seems like a thing for me for now. So I’m just gonna roll with it. But yeah.
CRISTINA ROSE 13:19
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I’m excited to dive into the power mom Chronicles and know what your answers are. And my first one to you is what’s a game changing lesson life has taught you?
KIM BARNETT 14:55
Game changing so this is kind of an Okay, so I hurt my back recently because of the baby, and being 40. And I always thought I was a person who was able to ask others for help, and accept the help. And I feel like I was wrong. So being able to ask for help is one thing, but accepting it and actually letting someone help you as a totally different thing. And I’m not good at that. So I think one thing I would tell people is, learn to be okay with accepting help when you need it.
CRISTINA ROSE 15:40
Being okay to accept the help. No, I like that. Because I know sometimes, you know, I struggle with that too. Because I feel like, Oh, I could do it, I could just do it. But you know, we do need help. It takes a village to raise children. And so my second question to you is reflecting on your journey, what practical lessons or insights can our listeners apply to improve their own lives?
KIM BARNETT 16:04
Okay, so I didn’t mention this before we discuss a lot about it. So, my husband, Caucasian, my son is biracial. So yeah, he’s actually really, really liked him. So much, though, he doesn’t even like his teachers look somewhat black. He has like a bigger nose and like some of my features, but it’s just found. He looked like, if you’re a white person. Yeah. So I guess, relating this to this question is, I keep getting asked a lot of personal questions about my son from strangers. So at first, I was taking it personally, like, how dare you assume I’m the nanny or have very assume he’s not mine? Or why even asked me like, who are you? Yeah. Yeah. But at the same time, like I started thinking about it, and it’s better than the alternative, you know, they have these things called Amber Alerts nowadays, people can assume whatever they want. I’d rather someone asked me, you know, and rather than assume, and then call the authorities and him, you know, we have to explain that he’s mine or show proof. And if he like a traumatizing event, so I guess it’s better to let people ask you things and assume.
CRISTINA ROSE 17:25
Yeah It’s not always negative. And it’s not even I mean, like, it’s not, it’s probably not as it probably is, like you are taking it’s meant that.
KIM BARNETT 17:36
Initially I was but like, if you think it through, and a lot of times, it’s coming from a place of wanting to understand every opportunity. Which is better than a lot of times assuming especially in a situation
CRISTINA ROSE 17:52
KIM BARNETT 17:53
Yeah. We never know.
CRISTINA ROSE 17:54
Exactly, Yeah. So my third question is, offer a piece of wisdom for moms or anyone you know, striving to find their strength and voice.
KIM BARNETT 18:07
Offer People so often ask for help with, like a really big one that I’ve recently learned, but also balance. So I, finding things that you like to do for yourself only at least, like one thing, even if it’s like one thing a week or one thing a month, but like something that’s just for you. So I have a tendency to want to take care of everybody else first and neglect myself, which is a disservice to me. It makes me happy. So finding one thing that you could do to make yourself feel good, even if it’s like, you know, getting your nails done, just reading, whatever, taking a bath something and you’ll thank me.
CRISTINA ROSE 18:54
And then our last question is the best advice you’ve ever received.
KIM BARNETT 18:59
Best advice I’ve ever received? So I’m kind of like Intune person intuitive, I think so. I like to say this. Like, trust your gut, I guess. Yeah, a lot of times. Yeah. It’s like, it’s telling you something for a reason. Like there’s something called what is it called the God shot? Where sometimes things happen or you see things and it’s like a sign not necessarily if you don’t believe in God or whatever, but like, you know, the universe, whatever. telling you something for a reason. So like, I just feel like these there’s like these little pings and the follow that it usually leaves you in, you know, the right direction.
CRISTINA ROSE 19:50
Thank you so much for coming on this week’s episode of Not Your Momma’s Podcast. It was such an honor to have you on and share your story. All of her links are down below in the show notes. Don’t be shy. Go say hi and I hope to see you all at the next one thank you.