CRISTINA ROSE 0:04
Hey friends, Welcome to this week’s episode of “Not Your Momma’s Podcast”. And today we have Megan Stander, the founder and CEO of raising mama dedicated to improving the postpartum experience for mothers. Megan’s journey into motherhood sparked your mission to support new mothers with eco friendly baby products and valuable resources. Megan, thank you for doing the good Lord’s work. It’s so nice to have you on the podcast today. So what are some common challenges new mothers face during that postpartum period? You know, how can we address them?
MEGAN STANDER 0:42
I mean, there’s the laundry list. Right. And I think it’s different for everyone. But I think the kind of main things that everyone experiences are a huge identity shift, especially, you know, when going from no kids to one kid, it’s a shock to the system. Oh, yeah. Some, more or less for certain people. Of course, there’s the sleep deprivation side of it. So there’s figuring that out. breastfeeding issues are really common body image issues, if you’re working on navigating that transition back to work. And then the kicker for me was just like, the mental load of it all and the physical load of it all. So I think that I mean, it’s not as easy as like, you know, what’s, what’s the solution? I think that solution is there needs to be like a holistic approach where you’re tackling it from all ends. So yeah, I mean, it’s kind of like, where do I start?
CRISTINA ROSE 1:53
Yeah, so Exactly. And I felt when I had my first kid, it knocked me off my feet, you know, like, the breastfeeding was challenging, you know, going from working to not working was also like a huge, like, identity shift. And I think it’s important to have, you know, resources like you to kind of help women navigate that, because it is tough, like, it is a huge identity shift. And it knocked me off my feet. And one of the reasons why I started the podcast was because I felt so lost. In my own self, you know, I wanted to feel like productive and still working and you know, kind of, you know, get, let everyone know that, like, we’re all in it together. And to be our best self, we need to have like, good mental health as well. And I love that you brought that up, like also having like that good mental space.
MEGAN STANDER 2:44
Yeah, And, you know, one of the things that we’ve done is that we try to get to women while they’re pregnant. And that’s so hard to do. Because when you’re pregnant, and it’s your first child, you really just don’t know what you’re in for, even though, you know, people have warned you, but they don’t want to scare you either. Yeah. And so it’s very common that it is a shock, after they have birth, and we try to lessen the effects of that shock, and prepare them through, you know, information and resources. And because everything I think when you’re pregnant, it’s a lot about birth, birth is scary, it’s scary to think about, like what comes after. So kind of what we’ve found is that maternity leave information is kind of something that people really care about, probably because it’s related to money. And so that’s where we start and then from there, we can kind of build on that.
CRISTINA ROSE 3:52
Yeah and I think it is important to start ahead, I kind of like that you want to grab them before the baby, you know, and like develop even that relationship with like you like mentoring them and just kind of preparing them and you know, knowing that they’re not going to be completely lost and left alone. Parents. You need the addicted child, a parent’s guide to adolescent substance abuse by Richard Capriola. It’s a must have for understanding teen substance use and learning the warning signs every parent should know the addicted Child A Parent’s Guide to adolescent substance abuse by Richard Capriola and here’s the kicker, Richard spills the beans on explaining substance used by today’s adolescents and how drugs work in the teen brain. He’s even included important warning signs for self harm and eating disorders and how to find the right help for your team. And the best part is you’re getting all of these mind blowing insights without breaking the bank. If you’re a parent or know someone who is this book is going to be your secret weapon, Kindle or paperback grab your copy on Amazon, or go to help the addicted child.com The sites in this book are pure gold, and spread the word, share the love and let’s empower ourselves with knowledge, you know, could you share, share some insights, you know, into the, you know, maternal mental health and its impact on the new mothers.
MEGAN STANDER 5:20
Yeah, so maternal mental health is tricky, because part of becoming a mother is your priority shifting and you taking care of someone else, and you are, the focus becomes on the child. And so, more than ever, you have to learn how to advocate for yourself, like more fiercely than ever before. And it becomes really evident, too, that society doesn’t really support mothers, as well as they, they can. And so, I think that, you know, building these, building these habits, and also, you know, if you weren’t working on yourself in certain ways, as much before you had kids doing that, after you have kids is going to help your mental health like, overall.
CRISTINA ROSE 6:18
Yeah, I feel like we learned so much about ourselves when we have children, you know, like triggers and like things that are frustrating us or whatever, just like you just, they really teach you a lot about yourself. And I love that you work on yourself as a mother and like to get that mental health for you. Like, I think it’s important to, like, take that inward look, because it really does make a difference in how you parent. And like I said, the biggest lesson about yourself is if you have a kid, I mean, I feel like yeah, so much about what I can tolerate how strong I am, you know what I mean? And how much I really can get done in a day too. So there’s always like, the positive stuff, too. It’s like, wow, like, I am woman, I can do all these things, you know, like, watch me, you know, look how good I am at problem solving. And then it’s like, oh, maybe I’m a little bit, you know, not as strong in this area of my life. So I need to, like, you know, work on that. So I think it really shows what your strengths are as well.
MEGAN STANDER 7:17
It’s transformational, for sure. Because you’re pushed, you’re pushed to the limits. And so you are forced in a way to think a little bit harder about I mean, like, you use the word trigger. I mean, that’s, it’s just, it’s so overwhelming, I’d say is the best word that you have to start like making plans to figure it out. Because it’s not just, you know, your relationship with your partner at stake. It’s not just like your job at stake. These are like the common like temperature checks when it comes to mental health. Like knowing where you’re at is like how are your relationships? you know, how’s your ability to work and be productive, but now it’s also like your children and their little valuable creatures and you know, you want to be a good mom.
CRISTINA ROSE 8:15
Yeah, so again, what advice do you have for mothers that are actually struggling to find support, you know, and resources during their pregnancy and postpartum journey?
MEGAN STANDER 8:23
I think it really depends on the mom but the things that because it depends on your personality or introvert extrovert Do you want to go out and meet people are due kind of like being at home with your baby. And I think that the things that I found that really work are and this is not what you would think, but I found it difficult to connect, like I live in, you know, a neighborhood everyone’s kind of like in their boxes and whatever. One thing I did was, I did become less shy about meeting people online. Like somebody reached out in like a local group. They asked me advice on something and they suggested lunch and like I went and did it and that person is now one of my best friends. putting yourself out there I mean, having more conversations with other people I think that like the number one thing that women say help them is having a support system, and you can’t have a true support system by making friends and so I think that you do need to try to make friends. Number two, I do think that social media is a great place for support. And there’s also like online support groups, one of them a great one is centerline community. But I also think podcasts honestly are great. Yeah, for finding info and restore verses and stuff like that. So that would be, that would be my advice.
CRISTINA ROSE 10:05
No, I love that and, you know, women we are creatures of, we like to more like, we like to talk more we know we like to gather around like, I really do think it’s important that we have friends, I mean, and have people that are kind of going through the same situation together, you know. So it doesn’t feel like you have to be like in a support group, but you have friendships that support you during your transition and going through those life changes together. And I think it’s important, and I love how you, you know, kind of stepped out of your comfort zone and like, did something you wouldn’t normally do, like, meet someone online. And now look at that, that’s like your best friend do you know? So I love that.
MEGAN STANDER 10:44
Yeah another thing you can do is like, this is kind of weird, but like doing other people favors. You know, like if somebody posts and I don’t know, neighborhood group, they need help with something like helping other people really does. Over time. It helps you in the long run, if you ever need help with something.
CRISTINA ROSE 11:08
Exactly. And I know sometimes, you know, as new moms, we tend to not prioritize ourselves as much, you know, how can mothers you know, prioritize their self care, you know, and miss all the changes and the schedules and the responsibilities? What do you what do you suggest for someone trying to find that balance?
MEGAN STANDER 11:26
This is a hard one. But I think the main thing is that we need to read it redefine what we see as self care, because it can be the stereotypical thing of like self care is going to get a pedicure or like going to, I don’t know, like, even take a shower. I hate that example, or a cup of tea. Yeah, but I think I think a good form of self care is also just being able to know what emotion you’re feeling when you’re feeling it. It’s that self work. Because if you don’t know what’s going on internally, it’s much harder to find solutions for what’s happening. I think even just taking five minutes to slow down. I think slowing down is a form of self care. But I think even scheduling it in period, like getting it on your calendar, being assertive about it being assertive is huge. Because they moms are so naturally giving and it’s wonderful. But sometimes depending on your partner, I mean, you need their support for you to take care of yourself and you have to just straight up tell them.
CRISTINA ROSE 12:45
Well Meghan, it is time for the Power Mom Chronicles. And I cannot wait to dive into your answers.
And my first question to you is what’s a game changing lesson life has taught you
MEGAN STANDER 12:56
A game changing lesson life has taught me is that intuition is a powerful thing. And, you know, looking backwards, I think if I had listened to it more, I would be in a different place. And also just giving myself lots and lots and lots of grace. That because, you know, we, we do things wrong and motherhood is extremely difficult. And being kinder to yourself, helps with that.
CRISTINA ROSE 13:29
And reflecting on your journey, you know what practical lessons or insights can our listeners apply to improve their own lives?
MEGAN STANDER 13:39
I think that like understanding your childhood and how it’s impacted your personality, and ways of managing stress, and you know, how you choose your relationships. I think that’s really important. Like, even if you didn’t have any crazy abuse or anything in your childhood, I think people often overlook that aspect and I diving deep into that can help you improve your life a lot. It has a trickle effect
CRISTINA ROSE 14:09
And offer a piece of wisdom for moms. Are anyone really striving to find their strength and voice?
MEGAN STANDER 14:16
Yeah, so I always say this to my friends, too. But talk to yourself as if you were your own daughter. Talk to yourself as if you’re looking at her. She’s like eight years old. Or even just how you would give him your friend advice. It’s I think it’s inside of us already. But we need to start taking our own advice and rebuilding that inner voice into something that’s positive, kind forgiving, you know, encouraging.
CRISTINA ROSE 14:48
And the best advice you’ve ever received.
MEGAN STANDER 14:52
Make sure you make your own money and aren’t financially dependent on someone.
CRISTINA ROSE 14:58
That’s good advice. Well, Megan, thank you for coming on this week’s episode of “Not Your Momma’s Podcast”. It was such an honor to have you on. All of her links are down below in the show notes. Don’t be shy. Go say hi, and I hope to see you all in the next one. Thanks for listening.
MEGAN STANDER 15:15
Thanks so much.