CRISTINA ROSE 0:00
Hey friends, welcome to this week’s episode of “Not Your Momma’s Podcast”. And I’m excited. We have again, Richard Capriola, we are thrilled to have you once again, as our audience loved your previous insights. Today, we’re inviting you back to address questions posed by our listeners, eager to benefit from your expertise. Richard Cabriolet is a seasoned mental health and substance abuse counselor with over two decades of experience. Richard, thank you so much for coming on the podcast. Again, I cannot wait to talk about our topic.
RICHARD CAPRIOLA 0:40
Thank you, Christina. It’s a pleasure to be here. And I appreciate you taking the time to invite me back to talk about this topic.
CRISTINA ROSE 0:47
Yeah you know, it’s so important, especially in today’s world, people have access to so many avenues to substance abuse and ways to get their hands on. So foremost, how can parents recognize signs of substance abuse in their teens?
RICHARD CAPRIOLA 1:06
That’s probably one of the most important questions that I think we can ask about this issue of adolescent substance abuse, because so many times I would sit with parents and go through their child’s use of a substance and, and when I finished, they would look at me, and they would say, I had no idea this was going on. Or if they did suspect your child was using a substance, they might say, like, I sort of thought something was going on, but I didn’t think it was this bad. Yeah, and these are good parents, these are very good parents doing the best job they can. They were caught off guard because they missed the warning signs. And they missed the warning signs because nobody told them what to look for. So knowing a little bit about the warning signs just empowers us as parents to be a little bit more on the alert to what to look for. In my book, The addicted Child A Parent’s Guide to adolescent substance abuse there, there are warning signs for alcohol use of marijuana use the two primary substances that kids get into. But I’ve also got warning signs that a child that might be self injuring or, or developing an eating disorder, because sometimes those will accompany a child that using Substance. But as a general rule, what I say to parents is pay attention to the changes that you see in your child, you know your child better than anyone. So don’t assume that these changes are just normal adolescent, acting out behavior, be a little curious, investigate why you’re seeing these changes in your child, they may or may not be related to substance abuse, they may be related to perhaps another issue that you need to need to investigate, but pay attention to the changes, especially if those changes go on and on and on. And you start to see more and more of them over time. That I think is a big signal to you as a parent that there might be something to look into. So pay attention to those changes.
CRISTINA ROSE 3:03
it’s true. One of the things that the key thing I grasped was like, listen to your own instincts and intuition as a parent as well, rather than I mean, like trust that like don’t doubt yourself, like you should trust yourself that like, hey, something might be up. And like you said it may not be substance abuse, it could be another issue have to deal with. But just trust in your own parental instinct and your own ability to sense things and especially your own child. Yeah, right.
RICHARD CAPRIOLA 3:34
That’s the one you know.
CRISTINA ROSE 3:36
Exactly, Parents. You need the addicted Child A Parent’s Guide to adolescent substance abuse by Richard Capriola It’s a must have for understanding teen substance use and learning the warning signs every parent should know the addicted Child A Parent’s Guide to adolescent substance abuse by Richard Capriola. And here’s the kicker, Richard spills the beans on explaining substance used by today’s adolescents and how drugs work in the teen brain. He’s even included important warning signs for self harm, and eating disorders and how to find the right help for your team. And the best part is, you’re getting all of these mind blowing insights without breaking the bank. If you’re a parent or know someone who is this book is going to be your secret weapon, Kindle or paperback grab your copy on Amazon or go to help the addicted child.com The sites in this book are pure gold and spread the word. Share the love and let’s empower ourselves with knowledge. So what are some effective strategies for parents to communicate, you know, with their addicted child, how can we open up the conversation?
RICHARD CAPRIOLA 4:48
The same communication styles that I would recommend we use for anybody, not just a child, and that focuses on listening, listening skills And by that, I mean, we’re good at listening to the words, each from each other so that when we’re talking, you know, we hear each other’s words. But many times we don’t hear the feelings behind those words. So I think one of the most effective communication skills with teenagers and with adults is to practice listening skills that focus on feelings, so that when your child is talking to you, you’re not just hearing their feelings, or their words, you’re hearing their feelings, and their and you’re reflecting them back to the child to make sure that what you’re hearing is what is actually going on. So listen to the feelings, practice listening skills, listen to those feelings and reflecting them back. The other thing is, when you’re talking to your child, particularly about substance use, keep the focus on yourself, you know, don’t accuse the child, don’t threaten the child, don’t punish the child, keep the focus on you. For example, let’s say you suspect your child might be using marijuana, you can approach that discussion by simply admitting that you’re concerned that your child might be using marijuana. And that scares you, as a parent, I’m scared to think that you might be using marijuana. So you keep the focus on you, and allow the child to give you feedback based on how you’re feeling about us a suspicion that you have, and you’re more likely to get a discussion going that way, then if you were to approach a child and accuse him of using marijuana, they’re going to become very defensive that.
CRISTINA ROSE 6:32
Yeah, you just kind of have to be like a little strategic with your words, like a little reverse psychology, it seems like, and the key thing that we’re picking up here is feelings. You know, and I mean, it’s just like, you know, I feel this way, not like, you’re doing this, you know, and then like, if they’re obviously feeling a certain way, which is why they’re, you know, maybe taking a substance abuse and trying to understand that feeling for them so that they feel heard and understood, and we can work on how to heal that poor feeling.
RICHARD CAPRIOLA 7:05
And that’s very important, what you just said that they have a feeling of being heard. And they have a feeling of being understood. That goes a long way to opening up the communication with a child.
CRISTINA ROSE 7:17
Yeah and so can you share some tips on creating like a supportive environment for a teen struggling with substance abuse?
RICHARD CAPRIOLA 7:25
Well, first of all, you have to keep the boundaries in place, you know, as a parent, it’s your responsibility to keep your child safe, and to create those boundaries, and when they cross those boundaries, to have appropriate consequences for that. So I would say one of the things that you want to do is make sure that you have always maintaining appropriate boundaries for your child. And if they violate those and make sure that they’re clearly understood, clearly communicated to the child. And then if they violate those boundaries, and appropriate consequence, so they learn that there are consequences to their behavior, and for violating the boundaries are the rules that you set up. The other thing is, if you have any suspicion that your child might be using substances to get a professional assessment done, allow the professionals to do the testing, to come up with the assessment and to either rule in or rule out if there’s a substance abuse issue. And just as importantly, if there is a mental health issue, because many times a child will be using a substance to medicate that underlying emotional issue or psychological issue, like anxiety or depression. So you want to get you want to get that either ruled in or ruled out. Anytime you have a suspicion that your child might be using a substance, I recommend you get some professional assessments done.
CRISTINA ROSE 8:45
Yeah, No, I think that’s good. And then what role does early intervention play in preventing that adolescent substance abuse from escalating?
RICHARD CAPRIOLA 8:53
I think it’s critical, it’s unlike anything else, the sooner we identify a problem, the sooner we recognize symptoms and warning signs, the more likely we are to get it diagnosed and begin treatment. So it’s early intervention for anything is critical. So if the moment you suspect something’s going on as a parent, don’t wait, get it, get an assessment done. Early Intervention can go a long way towards keeping it from escalating and getting more worse, and can begin the treatment process if that needed.
CRISTINA ROSE 9:28
Yeah, No, I like that. I think it’s good to, you know, get in there early, because, like, I’ve heard like horror stories of just what is it like detoxing, you know, and I mean, and you know, people can die from just detoxing if they’re not safe or have people around them and stuff. So, I think it’s, you know, important to just keep an eye out. Let’s trust our instincts, instincts as parents grab your book, you know, the substance, that what is the book called again.
RICHARD CAPRIOLA 10:02
For the addicted Child A Parent’s Guide to adolescent substance abuse.
CRISTINA ROSE 10:07
Yeah, that’s what’s the addicted child. I was gonna say that, but I was like, wait, I want to say exactly what they know. And, you know, and I think it’s important, you know, as parents, like, we are the ones that have to keep our children safe, and, you know, guide them in this world. And, you know, education is knowledge. And we do live in a time where people have access, like we said earlier in the podcast to, to things that they did, in fact, even when I grew up, so I think it’s important to educate ourselves.
RICHARD CAPRIOLA 10:37
That’s a different world out there. It’s a scary world for a lot of parents. But many parents are, are afraid of this topic, and they want to shy away from it. But knowledge is power, the more knowledge we have, the more comfortable we feel with dealing with this issue. If we have to, we hope we don’t. But if we do, we want to feel better prepared to deal with it. And that’s, that’s really the goal for all of us.
CRISTINA ROSE 11:03
Yeah, Well, Richard, it is time for the Power Mom Chronicles. It is round two for you. This is your second time on the show. We’re so excited to have you here again. And my first question to you is what’s a game changing lesson life has taught you
RICHARD CAPRIOLA 11:21
That life’s a journey. It’s a journey. Each and every day, tried to find the positives, you know, but life’s a journey. And it’s going to throw a lot of curves at you, there’s going to be some ups, there’s going to be some downs. But even in the downs, there’s something that you can grasp onto and learn something from. And if there is just one little thing that you can learn from those moments that perhaps aren’t the best, then look at it as a learning experience.
CRISTINA ROSE 11:54
Yeah, exactly. And it kind of segue into my second question, which overlaps? Reflecting on your journey, what practical lessons or insights can our listeners apply to improve their lives.
RICHARD CAPRIOLA 12:09
Get support for yourself, have a supportive environment, whether it’s other family members, maybe it’s friends, maybe at your church community, maybe it’s a civic group, maybe it’s even a school group of parents, but you want to have a support system. And that’s particularly true if you’re struggling with a child who has a substance abuse issue. So many times there’s a stigma around this, that ice that isolates parents, and then they feel alone. So regardless of what your child is going through, have a support system around you, people that you can trust and people that you can use as a sounding board, I think you’ll find that that can be very helpful.
CRISTINA ROSE 12:50
You know, in general, like, I feel us as humans, we do better as community as impact and to be as supportive. You know, in this day and age, like we’re kind of more like, you know, standoffish feel like, we need to be, like, alone, like, independent, we could do it ourselves. But it’s like, we’re not meant we’re not built that way, you know, which is super important.
RICHARD CAPRIOLA 13:13
Yes, We’re social animals. We, strive to be in a community. And that’s particularly important when we’re facing struggles, because sometimes we can feel so alone and so isolated. And there’s a stigma around addiction, unfortunately, so that parents often feel as if they’re being judged if they have a child that’s struggling with substance abuse. So the key really is to have a support system around you that can help you.
CRISTINA ROSE 13:47
And can you offer a piece of wisdom for moms striving, or anyone really striving to find their strength and voice?
RICHARD CAPRIOLA 13:55
Yeah, don’t go it alone, you know, don’t get that can be very, not only scary, but depressive, you know, try not to go through any journey really, whether it’s up or down. Try not to go it alone. Because the more alone we feel, the more isolated we feel, then the more depressed we feel. So and it can be really difficult to try and do that when we’re struggling, you know, to reach out to other people. It’s the last thing sometimes we want to do, but and that gets back to if you have a support system in place, then those times of need that come those times of crisis that come you’ve got a support system already in place, and then the struggle is to use it. Because so many times we don’t want to do that. Yeah.
CRISTINA ROSE 14:44
My last question to you, Richard is the best advice you’ve ever received.
RICHARD CAPRIOLA 14:50
To seek advice when you need it. Because so many times we think we know the answers or we don’t know the answers and we Don’t seek advice to get other people’s opinions other people’s advice and, you know, it’s like anything else. The more advice we have the more viewpoints that we have on a subject, the more likely we are to find a solution that’s going to benefit us.
CRISTINA ROSE 15:15
Yeah, Perfect. Well, Richard, thank you so much for coming on the podcast again. It was such an honor to have you on all of his links are down below in the show notes. Don’t be shy. Go say hi. And I hope to see you all in the next one. Thanks for listening.