Cristina Francy 0:05
Hey friends, welcome to this week’s episode of “Not Your Momma’s Podcast”. The title of this episode is achieving wellness and balance in a fast-paced society. And I am so excited today we have ‘Natalie Mullin’, a certified Wellness Educator, speaker, and Coach focused on helping teachers and solopreneurs. Achieve Wellness and balance. So, Natalie Mullin, thank you so much for coming on the show today. Can you give the audience a little bit about your background and kind of how you got to where you are today?
Natalie Mullin 0:39
Yeah, thank you so much for having me, Christina. I’m so excited to be on the show today. And I am so passionate about wellness, I’m passionate about women’s wellness, and it comes from a place of trauma, to be honest. I was going through life; I was really busy. I had my own business; I had my side hustle. And I was doing all the things that I feel like you should do in life. So I was giving myself a pat on the back, I felt productive. And I didn’t realize that things were starting to slip. Because when things are going, you’re not really paying attention. You’re not slowing down to realize what is starting to give. And I didn’t realize that my husband and I were growing distant. And so all sudden one day he just asked for a divorce. And I was like, Sorry, what Where did you say just now? What? I’m sorry? What? Yeah. And then I thought like, okay, maybe it’s a joke, or you know, sometimes people just say things in the moment, are like, No, he was serious. And I was like, okay, and long story short, we ended up getting separated. And that was extremely traumatic for me, because all I had wanted in life was to be married. This is my family; this is my future. And everything just kind of came crashing down. And then you get I was just sitting there. And I was like, well, what was this all worth? Like? What was it all for me having this business and me pursuing all these ambitions? If it means I’m not even going to have the relationship that matters most to me. So from that point, I had to start my own wellness journey. Because I entered a huge depression, I was just totally broken, I had no clue how to move on in life, like my whole identity was connected to being married, right? Being this wife, and I had largely lost sight of who I was as a person, I had completely forgotten about my own goals and ambitions and everything. So when everything kind of crumbled, in order to get out of that you because you eventually have to get out, you can’t stay in such a low space. And I was like, Okay, well, I have to start my own wellness journey. And I went to therapy, and I had different people helping me. And I really had to find a way to pull myself out of it. And then it starts with asking, like, what do I want for life? Right? And so I had to ask myself, What do I actually want out of life? How do I want things to be different? What am I going to create. And so by me going through my own wellness journey, I created a formula that I now refer to as the wellness system, the wellness reset system, by following those steps, I was able to get out of my mess out of my depression and kind of start life over. And so now I’m just super passionate about talking to other women who might feel disconnected from themselves from their families, because they’re either working so hard in their job or in their own business, or maybe they have two things going on. Because I want them to know that ambition is great. But like if you sacrifice your own wellness, it is going to be the people around you that you’re going to lose, and you don’t always get the opportunity to get them back. Thankfully, in my situation, there was a plot twist, and my marriage was restored. But that was not expected. And that doesn’t happen for everybody. So I don’t want people to get to that, moment when your husband walks in and says I want a divorce. And now you’re like, Okay, I’m going to change things I’m going to balance and then it’s too late. So that’s, where I come from.
Cristina Francy 3:56
Yeah, not only do you lose the people around you, when you don’t have like wellness within yourself, you lose yourself in the process as well. And it’s kind of like just a reflection of kind of like, what you’re feeling like you deserve at that moment. Because you’re not taking care of yourself as well. And so I totally relate to you, I’m currently just going through a divorce myself and I was diagnosed with Crohn’s disease in December. And, you know, it’s a very emotional, disease, in your gut is your second brain and it’s like, you keep thinking things will show up in different ways. I just kind of kept suppressing things okay, everything’s fine, I can, it’s okay, I can live like this, etc, etc. But then, something showed up in me, you know, physically, because I was just trying to suppress my brain. So it’s like really important to have, a strong mindset, a strong wellness routine for yourself, and we learn those through huge disruptive things that happen in our lives. you With your divorce, you know me with like my divorce too. I don’t know if we’re going to come back together, which is very beautiful story. But, you know, I kind of want to dive into this topic a little bit more. And so can you explain to us what is disruptive wellness?
Natalie Mullin 5:16
Yeah, And I told you feel for you the in the place that you’re in, I just want you to know that because I know what it’s like. And it’s a roller coaster. It’s a roller coaster of emotions, and nobody understands what you’re going through in your bedroom with the door closed. So I get it, and I see you, and just sending light your way. But yeah, when we think about disruptive wellness, we’re thinking about how do we push back on society’s narratives of what wellness should look like of how we should practice wellness, right? You might look on social media, maybe you hear people say, oh, self-care is about getting your nails and massages done, or wellness is about eating organic and gluten free and working out five days a week. And all of that can be a part of your wellness journey and your wellness experience. But if it doesn’t bring you joy, if it is not in alignment with the way that you want to live your life, then what’s the point, you’re just adhering to somebody else’s idea and version of what wellness should be. So disruptive wellness is really about focusing on what your needs are. And saying like, this is what I need right now. This is where I am right now, this is where I want to get to, because everybody has different versions of what is good for them. Right? Like you have some people who are very comfortable living life certain ways, and who are we to judge at the end of the day, like I just feel like okay, you know what, everybody’s got to go on their own journey. And everybody wants different things. I don’t want to eat only organic, gluten free keto, whatever meals, I like fast food sometimes. And that’s okay for me. Right. And maybe for you, it’s not okay. So, it’s like, I let everybody do what works for them. And it’s goanna bring them fulfillment and meaning in life, that they can access their purpose, their joy, their creativity, like these are the kinds of things that we want to experience. We want options that we’re doing to be sustainable. We want to truly feel good doing them.
Cristina Francy 7:03
Yeah exactly. And speaking of that, especially with moms and setting boundaries, and why is that important? And feeling okay, with setting those boundaries, having to do with like, feeling okay with doing that, because I know, for me, I’m still learning how to set my boundaries, and I didn’t have boundaries and you learn that through, hardships of not setting boundaries, and why is it important that we do that, and work through it, for our wellness?
Natalie Mullin 7:40
I think as moms, we care so much about our children, obviously, that’s why we’re here. And that’s, that’s one of our biggest responsibilities, right? Is we get to nurture these children; we get to raise them. And so first thinking about, well, I’m going to be a role model for my child or children. What do I want them to see, because what they see mom do is what they replicate later on, I’m sure if you think of your own childhood growing up, whoever raised you, you just ended up copying a lot of the same things, whether for good or for bad is just how it goes. So boundaries are important. First of all, just to set an example for the children that you’re caring for and that you have in, right, because you want to show them it is okay to prioritize your own well-being. And setting boundaries is not about controlling other people. I think a lot of times people don’t set boundaries, especially women, because they don’t want to control somebody else. They don’t want to tell somebody else what to do. That’s a misunderstanding of what boundaries about now Jesus is saying, what do you accept? What is the standard you have for yourself? What are the desires you have? How should you be treated? How should you be spoken to? How should your finances be managed, all of these things, you are taking care of yourself, you are protecting yourself, because you recognize your own self-worth. So if you recognize your soul, your own self-worth boundaries, it’s about setting up specific ways in which people can access you and how they can access you because people treat you the way you allow yourself to be treated. Right. And so a lot of times people are in difficult situations, and people aren’t treating them well. And it’s really unfortunate, but a part of that is because they allow that person to treat them and like that way and a lot of times even boundaries. Sometimes you have to walk away from a situation. And that’s not easy to do. But again, it comes down to how do you value yourself? What do you think you’re worth? What do you think you deserve?
Cristina Francy 9:33
Mental health is like, so important. It’s what’s goanna get you through the day. It’s what’s going to help you achieve your goals. It’s going to help you attract the things that you want. I mean, life’s a chess game, and you have to have a strong mental well-being to navigate through it emotionally. Well, so how does someone know that their wellness is out of balance?
Natalie Mullin 10:00
Yeah, so this is a really good question. And I love answering it. The first thing you have to do, you have to take an audit, you have to assess your wellness, on my Instagram, which is Natalie Mullin, there is a free link in the bio, it’s a download free wellness assessment. And it goes through 12 different elements of wellness. So internally, we’re looking at body, air, food, sun, water, and rest. And then externally, we’re looking at finances, career, spirituality, purpose, mindset, and relationships. And when people think of wellness, they don’t necessarily break it down into all those 12 categories. But it’s a really good place to start because it helps you be more specific. Or when you have specificity, then you can identify where are the areas that I’m low in? And so that worksheet, all it does is it lists those 12 elements, it asks you a couple questions, just as prompts, and then you rate yourself from one to 10. Where are you at right now? And you just need to do a check in you need to see where am I at with my food right now? Where am I in the relationships around me? Where are my finances at? Am I happy with these numbers? And then the next thing you need to do once you figure it out, this is where I’m at. And there will always be some that are lower, and some that are higher. To be honest, not always, some people have just low all across the board, and some people will have high all across, it’s goanna be different for each person, it doesn’t matter. It’s your journey. Right? So don’t judge yourself. It is what it is. I think it’s really important to practice self-compassion, and just be like, Okay, this is this is where I’m at right now. And if it’s all one, it’s that’s what it is just information. It’s just data. And then from there, you ask yourself, where do you want to get to, because not everybody wants to get to a 10, whatever a ton look like some people are perfectly fine to say I just want to move from a one to a two, because that means I at least am hanging on still. I mean, I made a little bit of progress. Other people want to go from a two to an eight, right? So like, see where you’re at right now. See where you want to get to, and then create a roadmap. And that’s what I do with women all the time. My clients, I create a roadmap with them. How do we move you from two to eight, and it’s not going to be two to eight? Just a jump? It’s two to three, three to four, four to five, it’s step by step.
Cristina Francy 12:11
Measurable? Yeah. You can feel proud of yourself and see the progress.
Natalie Mullin 12:18
Exactly. I think especially as women, I think a lot of us are hard on ourselves. And we either want to be perfect and be exactly what we envision for ourselves, or we’re just not happy. And it’s like, no, we’ve got to be happy with the progress. it’s a journey. That’s why it’s called a wellness journey. And we’ve got to just become more confident in the fact that we’re growing. And then we can look back and say, hey, well, last month, I was really this and now I’m a little bit more of this. And then you give yourself a pat on the back like job for me like, well, we need to celebrate ourselves more like as women like, I don’t think we big up ourselves enough and cheer ourselves on. Right? Like we recognize it, and other people were happy to praise our children are happy to praise other people around us. Sometimes, especially for women. Sometimes women are praising people who don’t even deserve the praise, especially in relationships, as they’re praising their partner. Their partner doesn’t even deserve the praise. But I think women just like to, give that but they don’t do it for themselves. Yeah, when it comes to themselves, they’re like, they, they are humble, and they feel like they’re bragging if they’re to celebrate their accomplishments. Yeah, it’s like, no, let me celebrate myself because I do a lot. Right? And a lot doesn’t have to be you have some big business and you’re making six or seven figures a lot could be I am raising my child. And let me tell you that is?
Cristina Francy 13:35
Yeah, So what is wellness? Coaching, mindset, wellness coaching for people who are unfamiliar and who can benefit from it.
Natalie Mullin 13:45
Yeah, so mindset coaching is something where you’re really starting with your thoughts. Because a lot of times we think that our actions are what’s controlling our life, like, oh, I went to work, and I did this. And this is why I have the life I have. But it actually goes deeper than that. It’s the way we think about our life, the way we think about our surroundings. Our situation is actually how our life plays out. actions follow the thought. So when we’re thinking about our mindset, it’s like how can we focus on our thoughts? How can we become more positive because we all have like an inner critic inside our mind that I call it like the little devil. It’s just like telling you negative things. And it’s like, oh, look at that. Look at that you’re not good for this. You’re not like we all have, it doesn’t matter how positive you are. But it matters how much you let that voice control your thoughts. Like do you say to yourself, go away and like you hit it? Or do you let it like, foster and be like, Oh my God, they’re right. Like, I can’t do this shoe. Look at that pimple? Who am I to do this? I’m not qualified. Right? Like so who do you give the mic to? And so if you give your mic to that little devil, guess what? That little devil is really loud. Okay, and we’ll run the show. And the show is not actually what you want. So you’ve got to take back that bike. That’s why mindset coaching is all about taking about that, Mike, and creating thoughts that are going to be positive to get you to where you want to get to, because everybody can get there. But you have to believe it for yourself. Like, what is the identity you have for yourself, and you might not be the person you want to be right now. And that’s okay. You still have to have like a vision for Who do you want to be? Who’s the person you want to transform and become. And then once you have that belief, and this new identity, you have to assume this identity and be like, Okay, I’m going to be like this person now. But the only way to become like that person is you have to change your thoughts. You just start to think like, how does that person think? And I don’t mean to become like a carbon copy of them, because you need to be yourself, like, we all are unique individuals. But I think we can all grow, like I believe that all of us can grow. I’m really big on personal development, growth, mindset, self-help. So, I think we can always become better versions of ourselves. I think life is evolutionary, you know. So, like, for us, it’s like, we should be coming better. Next year, the year is changing.
Cristina Francy 16:02
Yeah, always changing, like, what we wanted 10 years ago isn’t like, what we want, you know, 10 Yeah, or whatever.
Natalie Mullin 16:10
Yeah, exactly. that’s what it’s all about. And honestly, everybody can benefit from mindset coaching. But in particular, I know for me, I work with a lot of women who might be facing imposter syndrome. And I do this with quote, unquote, because it’s not even a real thing. But people could feel it. Yeah. Or it could be lack of confidence, it might be trying to find self-care and balance or working on self-worth, like I saw much comes back down to like, those kinds of things. And I really like helping transform that mindset. Because when you have that foundation, then the sky’s the limit once you sort that out.
Cristina Francy 16:13
And honestly, I think it’s good for people like that are trying to heal themselves. Like, that’s why I kind of mentioned Crohn’s disease, because it’s all about the wellness in your brain, don’t be stressed, like if you’re your thoughts starting to run wild, it’s going to affect, like your tummy hurt more and stuff. So it’s like, or if you’re battling cancer, I know I’ve spoken to many people and how they’ve gotten through that and gotten into remission is through their mindset. Okay, so I have four questions. I ask all my guests, and I can’t wait to know what your answers are. So my first one is who and what inspires you?
Natalie Mullin 17:24
Okay, so this is goanna sound a little bit weird. But the thing that inspires me the most is the grave. And I know that sounds weird. You’re like, wait, what? And the reason why is I heard this quote, once that said, the grave is the richest place because people die with all this potential within them. And when I heard that, quote, I was like, that can’t be me. I can’t think of anything sadder than like me being in a grave. I’m like, I had all these ideas in my head that I didn’t get out.
Cristina Francy 17:51
I know, right? Oh my god, like, coulda, woulda, shoulda, there’s so many people that have like, this untapped potential inside of them. And they never achieve it. Like what their like destiny is or you know, why they really came here on Earth and stuff like that. Some people never get to it because of the roadblocks, let’s say, like drug addiction, or the Gremlin or, just whatever, you know, and it’s crazy. Yeah. And that’s how I think too. It’s like, kind of have all these dreams and goals. I need to do it. If I don’t do it. I just would look back like I should have done that. You know?
Natalie Mullin 18:30
Yeah. Sorry. That was me. I can’t live in that. I can’t.
Cristina Francy 18:33
Yeah that was deep one. The grave?
Natalie Mullin 18:35
Yeah, you get it.
Cristina Francy 18:39
So yeah, I know. My Tombstone is goanna say a lot. Oh, my God. Okay. So what is something you wish you knew when you were younger?
Natalie Mullin 18:51
Okay, for me, it’s that life is not linear. Because I think when you’re a kid, you’re like, Okay, you’re in school, you go from grade one to grade two, you go from grade nine to grade ten, then you go to university or college. And like, you just think life is always gonna go on this certain straight-line trajectory. And it’s only as an adult that I realized, oh my gosh, this mind can zigzag and curve and spiral and just become dotted or disappear. And like, you get thrown off. And I think, if I had a better understanding, when I was younger, that like life can really go left. I think I would have been better prepared to handle some of the difficult situations I went through in life, but I really thought that like life was just kind of gold. Like I thought that if you plan out your life, kind of sticks to that linear path. And yeah, there might be hiccups, but I thought you’re always moving in a forward direction. I did not realize like, no life can send you all the way back or a completely different direction that you do not want to be going, and you kind of have to adapt to that. So yeah, that’s what I definitely wish I knew when I was younger, I try to tell younger people, like listen, like life can go all over the place. Because if you know ahead of time you can develop more resilience. And I think it takes you can react or respond quicker to when life just throws you lemons.
Cristina Francy 20:18
They say like, tell God, your plans and he’ll laugh.
Natalie Mullin 20:23
Yeah, a big chunk of for me door.
Cristina Francy 20:26
Yeah, okay. we’ll let you think you’re going there. But I got a different plan for you. Okay, so what’s the essential part of your daily routine?
Natalie Mullin 20:39
Okay, so the essential part of my daily routine is finding time for myself, because I just cannot function. As I told you, I have to still be able to do my dreams and like my goals, like the things I want to do in life, I just have to be able to do. And so, I need time like to do that. So I’m not a morning person. But now that I have my son, I’m like, oh, you take up a lot of my time. So, it’s hard, I don’t have as much free time anymore. So, I make that time in the morning before he gets up. Because when he gets up, you know, life changes.
Cristina Francy 21:12
All hands-on deck.
Natalie Mullin 21:13
Yeah, So I might, I’m waking up early to have this undisturbed time that I can work on things that are meaningful to me, whether it’s my own podcast, or just like researching and learning, I like to learn new things, or listen, join time. And then when he goes to bed, I also get back some of that time as well. I needed more of it. So, I start off my morning, and then my mornings, I’m able to do my workout. And that like was really important to me. Because in the nighttime, I don’t have the energy.
Cristina Francy 21:41
I like to get it done in the morning. Like working. Because then you don’t have to worry about it. You start, right you’re feeling good, because you like felt it. I feel like if it’s in the afternoon, like it’s still this things like I have to do, kind of workout to kind of work out oh my god, what am I goanna work out? I gotta work out.
Natalie Mullin 21:58
Yeah. And then sometimes it doesn’t happen, then you’re like, oh, my God, I didn’t work out. First thing in the morning, then I’m like, oh, it’s done. And I feel like I’m so hot. Like, I’m not happy when I’m working out. But as soon as it’s done. I’m like, so proud of myself. And it just sets the tone for my day. I’m like, Yeah, go ahead now.
Cristina Francy 22:18
Yeah, I love it. And then my last question is the best advice you’ve ever received.
Natalie Mullin 22:25
Okay, so the best advice I ever received was that I just have to be authentic and be the person I am. And not everyone’s gonna like me. And that’s okay. Yeah, because I think for a long time, I have a very specific bit of personality. And I’m a little bit loud, and I’m a little bit over-energetic. And not everybody likes that. And sometimes people will try to like control you or they’ll make you feel bad about your own natural personality. So I’m like, trying to hold back and become this different person. But then I’m like, not actually happy with myself. I feel like I can’t be free. And I really want to be free. So I’ll never forget when my mentor told me that, and I accepted. Okay, Natalie, it’s okay. You’re not for everyone. And that’s okay.
Cristina Francy 23:07
Yeah, And then like, who are you? and I mean, like, you lose who you are. Then it’s like, what do I actually like? Because I like what other people like and think what they think like, what is it? And then you’re on that whole journey of like discovery?
Natalie Mullin 23:25
Yeah, and you just go down a rabbit hole, and then you realize, like, oh, I don’t know who I am at all. Yeah, I thought, like, not a fun place to be.
Cristina Francy 23:32
And I don’t mean to laugh, but it’s like, I’ve been there like tons of times, you know.
Natalie Mullin 23:37
I’ve been there like,
Cristina Francy 23:39
Especially like, after a kid or something like life event.
Natalie Mullin 23:43
Less than I’ve been through it multiple times and if you’re at that place, it’s okay. if a listener is at that place, it’s okay. You just have to do some work to find yourself again, and to restore that relationship with your own self.
Cristina Francy 23:58
Yeah, if anyone’s listening, I am going through that right now. So, you are not alone. I’m literally always trying.
Natalie Mullin 24:06
I’ve been through it.
Cristina Francy 24:09
Well, Natalie, thank you so much for coming on the podcast today. It was such a fruitful conversation. All of her links are down below in the show notes. Don’t be shy. Go say hi. And thank you for everyone who listens to this week’s episode of “Not Your Momma’s Podcast”, and I hope to see you all in the next one. Thanks, guys.
Natalie Mullin 24:27
Thank you