CRISTINA ROSE 0:05
Hey friends, welcome to this week’s episode of “Not Your Momma’s Podcast” and join me today as I welcome Dr. Rakish Rana, a seasoned Associate Executive Coach, and a guiding force in transforming lives with a passion for simplicity, clarity and achieving life changing goals. Rakish brings a wealth of experience to our conversation on unlocking purpose, productivity and personal growth. Thank you so much for coming on the podcast today. It’s such an honor.
Rakish Rana 0:35
Thank you, Christina, thank you very much for having me on. I appreciate it.
CRISTINA ROSE 0:38
Yeah. So, you know, diving in to today’s topic, you know, how can individuals recognize and overcome the common challenges that lead to a plateau in their personal and professional lives?
Rakish Rana 0:52
Of course, quite often, I would say a lot of times, it’s, first of all, having the awareness. Sometimes people can be put in a bit of a rot, they have a feeling something’s not quite right. And they’re not sure what it is. And it’s probably something I went through myself as well. And I talked to friends about it colleagues at work, maybe, and then always second life coach, I didn’t actually know what one was back then. And it took me a few years to realize before I got my own, and I think that’s what it is, it’s about having somebody that can help you, whether it’s a life coach or mentor, an advisor that you can speak to soundboard about and figure out what it is that you want to do.
CRISTINA ROSE 1:27
Yeah you know, I think that kind of ties into like self awareness, you know, like having a deeper understanding of like what you want in your life. in your experience, you know, what role did the self awareness play in achieving, your a life changing goals, and like finding your purpose.
Rakish Rana 1:49
I think the lack of self awareness leaves you on that hamster wheel, essentially, it just leaves you on autopilot, you just carry on doing day in day out, you know, you hear about this thing about monotony, people just living the same day over and over again, without any kind of awareness. That’s what you have. And I think having a feeling that something’s not right, and a lot more out of life. And, again, my clients, they want more animal toy fits, they reach out, and they want to speak to somebody to raise their awareness, to be challenged with their thinking, their immediate thinking, because actually, once you break through those barriers, break through that monotonous lifestyle, you can raise that awareness to understand what it is that you actually want to go and achieve and do in your life.
CRISTINA ROSE 2:29
And I also think it’s great to have someone to help you recognize like an outsider looking in like you, you know, to help people, you know, because sometimes people feel lost and figuring out like, what it is that they really want. You know, so it’s great to have, that guidance and that coach to kind of help, you know, people really figure that out, and then so can you share some, like practical strategies for building like strong connections and relationships, both personally and professionally?
Rakish Rana 2:59
Of coarse I think the key thing is you’re trying this as a coach as well. But I think this is a skill that everybody should learn. And I think it’s not the thought enough, And that’s listening too often, where interjecting were complete in people’s sentences, we’re kind of assuming what people are going to say. But actually, if we just sit back and give people the space to talk, we can become better at communicating. And I think it’s once we become better communicators, we’re able to then do better things. I think that’s key for me, just become better and listening. I think that’s one key takeaway. And then another one is, once you’ve listened, and you have a better understanding, you can then ask better questions. And through auditing, asking better questions, get better answers. And with those better answers, you can take better actions to drive yourself forward. And I think that’s what it comes down to. Is this listening, getting better? And with that betterment, taking actions to go on and achieve things in life?
CRISTINA ROSE 3:58
Yeah, no, it makes sense. You know, we’re even thinking of like, how are we going to respond to the person before they’ve even finished, you know, and like, let me raise your hand or let me interject. when we live in such this fast paced world, that, you know, information is coming at us fast like, and our attention span has gotten less and less. So we really do need to, you know, it’s a great reminder to like, just take a step back, breathe, give someone space to communicate and listening. I mean, I think that’s one of the hardest things is listening. For sure.
Rakish Rana 4:29
It’s definitely learned skill. I must admit that the book that was transformative for me, in terms of this topic, was Nancy Klein’s a time to think. I think that was just transformative for me because it really taught me about my internal chatter and how I need to switch it off. I was always a very impatient person, you know, just wanting people to hurry up and interjecting and it’s reading that book. It just really started me on my whole coaching journey.
CRISTINA ROSE 4:57
Yeah. It’s one of those like a pet Have any aha moments like one of those books that like just get you? So you know, we were talking about listening. So but how does the language aspect of your coaching model contribute to clear communication and you know, goal attainment in one’s life.
Rakish Rana 5:16
Language is so important. And it comes down to how we actually want to talk about ourselves and talk about others and situations. So I like to work with my clients, especially within coaching frameworks, in terms of reframing something very simple thing they might ask, what does that look like? So a lot of the times people will come to me in the south, but this problem, the first thing I say to them is, let’s reframe the problem. Let’s not call it a problem, because problem in itself is a very defeatist word. And you kind of feel stumped. So what I say is, let’s refer to it as a challenge. So we framing problems into challenges. And then automatically, as soon as you say the word challenge, you feel as if there might be a solution to and it’s something that you need to overcome. So you’re actually thinking into the future already. That’s something simple. And then things like using the word should you often hear people, I should do this, I should do that I should be doing this. And something that was taught to me and I’ve started using a lot was, when you use the word should, it means you’re probably not doing things for yourself, you’re doing it for others. Maybe societal pressure, family pressure, whatever it is, you’re doing it for other people, not yourself. So instead of using the word should try to include and reframe it to use words like I want to, I need to I have to, I’m inspired to, there are a lot more empowering words. They you take ownership of that action, when you say I should you may or may not do it.
CRISTINA ROSE 6:41
Yeah, no, it’s so amazing how powerful languages you know, and how just even like the, you know, the should to, I need to I want to, I’m passionate about it, really just has a whole different like feeling. And it makes you really kind of open up your mind and like the creativity of like how to solve the what wasn’t a problem, but it was the what was the word that you use in?
Rakish Rana 7:10
Challenge?
CRISTINA ROSE 7:10
Thank you, you know, challenging? Yeah.
Rakish Rana 7:16
I mean, really, it’s amazing. Yeah, it is just these little tweaks sometimes that they don’t need to be huge and profound changes that you need to make in your life. But little tweaks, just completely set up your neural pathways in completely different directions.
CRISTINA ROSE 7:34
Yeah. I’m a firm believer in that. So you know, as an advocate for simplicity, and clarity, what advice do you have for individuals looking to simplify their lives for greater fulfillment?
Rakish Rana 7:48
Learn to say no. And it’s one of the hardest things, we’re we are often brought up as children as we get into adolescence, you know, we shouldn’t say no to things, accept somebody’s giving you an opportunity, take it say yes to opportunities. And even now, social media, this plethora of saying, say yes to opportunities that come your way, but actually, learning to say no, is so much more powerful. Because when you learn to say no, you actually give better opportunities to come your way, and actually will allow you to give a say yes to the proper, more strategic opportunities that may come your way. And quite often, we don’t want to say no, because we’ll let people down. Or we might feel the shamed into saying, no, because it might, might make us look bad. But honestly, learning they know, and you can say no gently to people as well, you know, not right now. I’ve got too much on my plate, but things like that, letting people down gently and saying no, honestly would give you back so much more time for yourself.
CRISTINA ROSE 8:49
Yeah. And that’s a kind of learning to set boundaries for yourself. And sometimes boundaries, you know, can hurt people’s feelings. But you know, we have to set that groundwork, and know like, what’s going to be right for us? And I think it is important to learn to say no, because sometimes I’m like, yes, yes, yes. And then like, you’re over exhausting yourself. And I’m like, wait, what? This isn’t really aligned with me. I’m not, what I mean? I just need to, we need to take a step back and saying, No, it was all about the boundaries, too.
Rakish Rana 9:16
Of coarse And when we’re like you said, it’s exactly that when you when you end up saying yes to things. Your energy is not where you don’t feel right. Actually, it can cause illness, because you get stressed and anxious about things because you’re not delivering. So don’t say no, it’s just so powerful.
CRISTINA ROSE 9:33
Yeah and that kind of comes with like confidence building. So when it comes to confidence, like what strategies or exercises do you recommend for someone seeking to boost their, you know, self-confidence and the out of that ability to say no.
Rakish Rana 9:48
Here’s the thing. A lot of people get this the wrong way around, they will. So they’ll say that once I’m confident I’ll do something. So back to front. What I always say is that you’ve got to do the smallest possible action. And when you take that small was a bit of action, you see the reward and what you’ve accomplished, that’s going to give you the confidence to try harder next time to do more next time. So it’s all about baby steps, it’s about doing something, which will then give you confidence. It’s always about action, reward, confidence, and it’s not the other way around. It’s not, you’ve got to have the competence to get the action. No, it’s, you’ve got to do something. So if you’ve got this huge, big goal, of course, you’re not gonna be confident to go for it, what you need to do. And, you know, this is where it helps to work with a coach is to break that down into its smallest possible manageable task for tasks to give you the confidence to keep going.
CRISTINA ROSE 10:37
Yeah, no, it’s true. Like, you have to, if you have a fear of it, and a desire, you just gotta jump in and go for it. Because obviously, it’s, it’s somewhat meant for you to go down that path. And, you know, you really not going to ever have the confidence, I didn’t have the confidence to start the podcast, but I just did it anyway, and I mean, and two years.
Rakish Rana 11:00
I was gonna use that exact example with you, I was gonna say to you, when you started this, I’m sure you weren’t full of confidence. I’m sure you had apprehension. But in the end, something just told you, I have to start. And I’m sure where you are now, compared to where you were two years ago, in terms of how you produce it, or what you do with it. The questions, the level of question you ask, your interviewees is completely different, it’s even better when you’ve got the confidence to do that.
CRISTINA ROSE 11:23
Yeah, You know, it’s definitely a work in progress, and always learning and adapting and learning from my mistakes. But, just doing it and putting myself out, there was like me stepping out of my comfort zone, which is what we need to do in order to grow. So. Yeah, so and that’s the whole part of just diving in, you know, be uncomfortable, you grow in the Un comfortability. So in your coaching experience, like how do you guide individuals through the process of defining and in enhancing their personal brands and lives.
Rakish Rana 11:59
A lot of the times the personal brand comes out through a journey, first of all, they’re gonna come to me with wanting to achieve some sort of a goal. And as such, I can never guarantee a goal. And that’s not what we’ll work towards. What we work towards is my clients theoretical goal. And what I say is more often than not, these goals will change, because right now, they don’t know what they don’t know. And as they go through this coaching journey, they need more knowledge, they learn more about themselves. And when they do, they actually realize that actually, they can achieve so much more. And by doing that their goals shift. So they don’t change, maybe 180. But what they will do, they’ll change slightly, and actually grow bigger. And what I say, biases, we may not, as part of this coaching program, reach your goal. However, what you will what will happen is part of his coaching, you will become the kind of person that is capable of reaching this goal. That is something that they’re very comfortable with, because in the end, I think anything in life is isn’t always about achieving goals, but enjoying the journey, enjoying the outcomes from the journey, and making sure you’re headed somewhere. And through that, they learn so much more about themselves. And then that’s what they apply into their own branding.
CRISTINA ROSE 13:11
Yeah, no, I love that. So before I dive into my four questions, is there anything else you’d like to sprinkle on top of our conversation today?
Rakish Rana 13:20
You know, you’ve asked me a lot of questions that are fantastic questions while away. And in such a short space of time, it’s so difficult to help so many people. But one thing I always say is, everybody has an idea. Everybody wants to achieve something in life. But they’re scared to go what others are gonna think scared of failure, whatever it is, is too big a goal. Or what I say is I’ve just said it before, as well. Break it down to the smallest thing that you need to do first, and take action. Honestly, success comes from action, nothing else doesn’t matter. Whatever you do, interact and fail. You can keep acting fail, and but you’re constantly learning. As long as you’re in motion, as long as you’re taking action, you will succeed. Yeah.
CRISTINA ROSE 14:00
It’s inevitable. You can’t just sit and daydream about it, you really have to put action towards it. And you will see the results. Maybe it might not be like what you had envisioned, but it might you know, it’ll turn out better, but, yeah, so I think that that’s a great reminder. All right. So, my first question to you is who and what inspires you?
Rakish Rana 14:25
What inspires me this is a bit of a challenging one, because not a lot of who are in inspires me as such. I know, look at heroes. I grew up admiring Bruce Lee, you know, we were not around but watching his old movies watching his or listening to some of his talks and his ethos and stuff. And it’s, about simplification. It’s about moving forward. It’s taking action, going with the flow, but just taking essences and just driving forwards. That is very inspirational for me, but realistically what do I look at now? I look at myself, I try and inspire myself because what I’ve realized through my coaching journey is that we as humans, and me as an individual, we can achieve so much. And as long as I’m growing and learning every day, and I don’t look back to yesterday with regrets, I’ve done great. And that’s what I do every day.
CRISTINA ROSE 14:50
It’s like, your future self is like your inspiration. You know?
Rakish Rana 15:20
Exactly.
CRISTINA ROSE 15:22
Yeah. I love that. And so my second question is, What is something you wish you knew when you were younger?
Rakish Rana 15:32
I wish that I wasn’t so scared to speak to people. You know, I wish somebody had pushed me to engage more with people. And there’s something I learned very much late in life. I mean, it probably doesn’t come across but grew up, a natural introvert can speak to people. Always the shy one in the corner, or the quietest room in the verb, voice in the room, let’s say, I wish somebody had given me that support and encouragement to go out and talk.
CRISTINA ROSE 15:59
The confidence thing that we’re talking about, you know what I mean? Yeah, going out and having to just, you know, walk up to a stranger and say hi, or ever.
Rakish Rana 16:13
Now can do it easily.
CRISTINA ROSE 16:15
Yeah, You’re a professional now.
Rakish Rana 16:19
You’re going to my late teens, early 20s. You know, it’s still struggle.
CRISTINA ROSE 16:23
Okay. So then my third one is, what’s the essential part of your daily routine?
Rakish Rana 16:29
Oh, the essential part is made my non negotiables is waking up at six o’clock every morning. Even though don’t want one on the weekend. But natural body clock. That’s my non negotiable getting up at six o’clock. Because what that does that kick starts my day, my routine, getting up doing a workout, whatever that workout might be for that day. And then starting, and I know the days where I think I want to have a lie in you know that the data just gets away from you. So for me, the non negotiable get up at six. That’s a routine. And then whatever comes, comes. I may not have a lot planned, but if I’m up, I know I’ve got time to do things.
CRISTINA ROSE 17:02
Yeah. Yeah. And then the best advice you’ve ever received.
Rakish Rana 17:06
The best advice I’ve ever received. I remember I studied in the U.S as part of undergrad, one year when I was doing my MBA degree. And I am I used to be good at science back in the day, but still reason physics. I really struggled when they came to U.S, because I think was the teaching style. And the teacher was doing very well. I remember doing the first midterm and getting a low score, you know, surprisingly low, I was actually shocked thinking I’m going to pass this. Anyway, I went up to the tutor afterwards. And he wasn’t very helpful. And I was asking him questions, and he just sat there saying, so what do you want? What do you want me to do? And I want to say, tell me how to do it. But those words would come out. In the end. His advice was, you’re more than capable of doing it yourself. You have everything available to you. Just go and apply yourself. I think that’s really stuck with me, throughout my life. Apply myself. Yeah, there’s so much out there. There’s so much out there so much of information. We just need gathering and apply it.
CRISTINA ROSE 18:11
Yeah. Well, that was really great way to end this wonderful conversation. Dr. Rakish. Thank you so much for coming on the podcast today. All of his links are down below in the show notes. Don’t be shy. Go say hi. And I hope to see you all in the next one. Thank you.
Rakish Rana 18:27
Thank you very much.